Some notes for all the smarty-pants

The mathematical formula in this comic:

1) is for the apparent horizon

2) assumes the earth is a perfect sphere

3) means “height” to be how far our eyes are above sea level

4) does not consider refraction

5) makes use of the pythagorean theorem – which may be the most complicated math that we carried over into adulthood

Searching for the Lost Boys (and Girls)

It’s amazing how time works when it comes to the human experience and continuum. When you are young, you long to be older. You see adults around you and it looks like fun to be able to do what adults are doing. Asha fondly remembers not being able to wait for the prospect of getting away from her parents when she was a teen only to find herself back with them again as an adult (this is temporary but still frustrating). Little do you know that while you are longing to be older and want to speed up your journey to adulthood that the adults in your life are enviously looking at your youth and want to be young again.

“Youth is wasted on the young”
– George Bernard Shaw

Getting older seems cool when you are young but that’s because you don’t know what you are in for. Here is a list of some of the annoying things that come with adulthood:

• Paying taxes
• Working with assholes you don’t really like
• Only having two weeks vacation
• Paying for everything (i.e. Gas, food, lodging and everything in between)
• Gray hair, crow’s feet and other visible signs of aging
• Unexpected and unexplained aches and pains
• Time crunches where you feel like you never have time to do what you want
• Brain drain where you have been lobotomized by your daily routine and spend your spare time in front of a television or fiddling with other mind numbing devices

This list is not exhaustive but it is exhausting to read. There are so many things that show the inconvenience of getting older. For those that like to think that 30/40/50 is the new whatever here is some news for you, its not, this acclaimed Ted talks tells you why.

Same as it ever was?

As we sit in our cubicles/offices/ designated work areas of despair we wonder as David Byrne and The Talking Heads did with their 80’s classic Once in a Lifetime “how did I get here?” This song is deep as hell and perfectly reflects the weird genesis of aging and how life can lead you on a twisted unexpected journey.

Asha frequently contemplates how she got to this point in her life and why it’s so far away from the vision board version of her life that she created. Okay, so Asha just looked at her vision board and noticed it was half-empty (she doesn’t even have enough vision to create a vision board). In any case her current life is far from the one that she envisioned.

Life’s a Bastard and then you die?

One of the weird phenomena of living is that you can go through the years and not even really realize how much time is passing and how quickly. Sometimes it feels like 30 was just yesterday and 25 ( our official induction into Stalecake-itude) was only a few weeks ago. The events, people of past, present and future can seem to blend and merge making it hard to really see and experience what is happening in the now.

In the book “Poking a Dead Frog: Conversations with Today’s Top Comedy Writers”, Peg Lynch, pioneer creator of the radio and television program Ethel and Albert had this poignant example of how aging works:

“Years ago, my father-in-law was celebrating his ninetieth birthday. For a surprise, I decided to make ninety cupcakes and have candles all over them. I thought it was so cute. It took me and four other people to get all the damn things lit before the first ones started to go out. So I said to my father-in-law, ‘When you’re ninety years old, do you still feel sixteen?’ And he said, ‘Yes, you do.’ But he looked at me kind of sad and said, ‘But all your friends are dead.’ “

If that doesn’t sum up what its like to get older we Stalecake-ians aren’t sure what does.