Customer Diss-Service

Customer Diss-Service

Why do they call it customer service?

If anything, if they were being totally truthful shouldn’t it really be called customer diss-service? So many companies will tell you that their mission is to serve the customer. The customer is the way and the light and they will do whatever it takes to make their customers happy, right? If that is the case, why are so many companies claiming to “love their customers” so damn bad at customer service?

Talking to more people on one phone call then you talk to all week

Customer service in person can be fraught with its own issues but it seems that dealing with issues over the phone is overwhelming and a shared bad experience for many. When you call you are usually asked to give secure information, first by punching it into your phone’s keypad. So after you have done all this why do you usually you have to say everything that you punched in to a person all over again? To add insult to injury, if the first person you speak to cannot resolve your issue, you will fall down a seemingly never ending rabbit hole of customer service reps asking for the same information while your frustration builds. I am surprised that you don’t hear more stories of people finding the address of call centers and trying to take them out with rocket launchers. Probably because it’s not that easy as most companies cobble together various domestic and international customer service agents to give you a confusing, frustrating and inept customer service experience.

Ten Commandment of Customer Service

The following are the Ten Commandments of customer service: (taken and abridged from

  1. Know who is boss.
  2. Be a good listener. Take the time to identify customer needs by asking questions and concentrating on what the customer is really saying.
  3. Identify and anticipate needs. Customers don’t buy products or services. They buy good feelings and solutions to problems.
  4. Make customers feel important and appreciated.
  5. Help customers understand your systems.
  6. Appreciate the power of “Yes”. Always look for ways to help your customers.
  7. Know how to apologize.
  8. Give more than expected. Since the future of all companies lies in keeping customers happy, think of ways to elevate yourself above the competition.
  9. Get regular feedback. Encourage and welcome suggestions about how you could improve.
  10. Treat employees well. Employees are your internal customers and need a regular dose of appreciation.

I have yet to find one company that abides by these fully, have you?

The Best at the Worst

Comcast, or as it was recently named “The Worst Company In America”, is legend in it’s horrid customer service practices.

Comcast recently stepped up their rudeness when service reps decided it would be a good thing to rename their customers. One customer received his bill addressed to Asshole Brown and more recently Mary Bauer was renamed by Comcast as “Super Bitch” on her monthly statement.


Stale Cake: Customer Diss-Service comic