What happens when you feel wronged or slighted by an unseen culprit? Do you seethe and wish a pox on your unseen foe? Or do you turn to the written arts to get back at the heartless bastard? For many, it seems the pen is far mightier than the sword, and passive aggressive notes are the communication mode of choice.

So what is passive aggressive behavior?

Before launching into the art and science of passive aggressive note writing, let’s discuss passive aggressive behavior. How can one be passive and aggressive? Why is this type of behavior so infuriating? It is defined very simply as indirect expression of hostility. Another term for passive aggressive behavior is something we Stalecake-ians like to call bitchassness.

“On the porch were the still-smoking remains of long-stemmed roses, evidence that someone angry and passive aggressive didn’t know Peter was out of town.”

What makes this behavior so annoying, is that underneath the passive aggressive condescension is a genuine need to communicate, but an inability to do so effectively. This tends to cause more problems and to lead to crumbling interpersonal relationships. Nothing is more frustrating than trying to deal directly with passive aggressive people who obviously can’t handle confrontation.

How do I say something without actually saying it?

Now that you understand bitchassness passive aggressive behavior, let’s learn how to write a great passive aggressive note.

Passive aggressive note writing has become so popular that there is a website showcasing the best and the brightest.

I’m too passive to even write a note!

Some people don’t want to risk getting caught taping up notes, and leaving handwriting examples around willy-nilly. They found a new method to reach any neighbor who would be geographically close enough to annoy them: Wifi network names.

As usual, there are blogs devoted this.

Why don’t people understand and appreciate my veiled and catty comments??

If someone ticks you off and you start reaching for a Sharpie to unleash your passive aggressive fury in capital letters, think twice. Your note may make you feel better but it probably won’t have the intended outcome and could potentially add fuel to a fire that needs to be extinguished. Hell hath no fury like a neighbor with social media access, so your note will probably live in internet infamy; and YOU, not your intended target, will look like a huge asshole.