Frightening Halloween Treats

Frightening Halloween Treats

Halloween is the most wonderful time of the year, full of ghouls, ghosts, tricks & treats. Screw Christmas. We love to dance to the sounds of Michael Jackson’s Thriller, to coo at the cute kiddie costumes, to gawk at the clever costumes that required minimal effort, and to be amazed at the balls-out efforts of those who TRULY love Halloween.

What do we NOT really love about Halloween? The sexy costume. Apparently anything can be made sexy on Halloween: sexy witch, sexy cheerleader, sexy cop, sexy nurse, sexy maid, even sexy My Little Pony. It’s a little boring. Though we have to admit we like sexy Hulk Hogan.

The Ultimate Sexy Costume

But none of these sexy costumes compares to the Sexy Vagina.

Why would you be a sexy witch when you can go straight to the source of the sexy, the vagina. This costume is not only anatomically correct; it fulfills every male fantasy with the addition of pizza. We did place a bid for this wonderful costume but, sadly, we were out-bidden.

Yeah yeah, just get back to the candy!

OK, we all know that candy is the standard fare that is given out on Halloween, but some folks refuse to get with the program. They either refuse to get in the Halloween spirit or they are dentists. We Stalecake-ians have received some pretty goofy Halloween candy substitutes in our day. Asha’s favorite was a religious comic book that reveals that Halloween is Satan!

Braver people than us tried to give kids healthy treats (in the forms of fruit chews, tofu marshmallows, nori pops, and artichoke butter cups) and this is what happened:

We thought Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers were vengeful, but these disgusted kids are much scarier!

Speaking of horror movie villains…

Disclaimer: Asha is slightly obsessed with horror movies and this week’s poll reflects her obsession.